


Bit Dodgy, This Process

by RemembrancerLirael



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Ficlet, No beta we post like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:55:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23096680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RemembrancerLirael/pseuds/RemembrancerLirael
Summary: “Hold on, you can’t be jealous of yourself, yeah? Are you serious?”He was very serious. If this is what he regenerated into, maybe regeneration was overrated.
Relationships: Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Comments: 20
Kudos: 61





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Still not sure where I'm going with this, but wanted to post and see if there's interest before trying to make the plot bunny work.
> 
> This takes place sometime between Boom Town and Bad Wolf. It's all a bit timey wimey.

It was only meant to be a quick stop. Pop out of the Tardis, pick up a late birthday gift for one very angry Jackie Tyler, and swan off for unavoidable domestics before setting off on another adventure. If he had any say in it, they would’ve ignored Jackie Tyler’s birthday entirely. The Doctor had no say in it, however, as the Tardis listened more to his human companion than to him. And Captain Jack certainly wouldn’t ignore a chance to dance with a few locals.

So here they were, in a small market on an otherwise unremarkable planet, shopping for one angry Jackie Tyler, _his companion_ flirting with Captain Pretty Boy the entire way.

Did Time Lords glare? He was certainly glaring, all Oncoming Storm, though these two humans weren’t properly frightened at all. If looks could kill, the Captain would be safer with the Daleks right now.

The Doctor trailed behind the humans with a scowl. He tried to ignore Rose’s giggles as the Captain attempted to romance her. When the Captain got a little too flirty, and Rose pushed him away, the Doctor finally relaxed. This might be unbearably domestic, but Rose was still _his Rose_ and there was nothing to worry about.

“Rose Tyler, I just left you at your mother’s only a few hours ago, what on earth are you doing here?”

That voice. The Doctor didn’t recognize it, but there was a familiarity in it. No. Bloody hell. This day just kept getting better and better.

The trio stopped in their tracks and turned to find a rather handsome man in a brown pinstripe suit walking towards them.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Rose stuttered.

“Who am I? Well, that’s a rather silly question, isn’t it?”

Did he just…did this other Doctor just _flirt_ with Rose? One pretty boy wasn’t bad enough today, now he had to manage a prettier version of _himself_?

The Captain casually stepped between the stranger and Rose, all swagger, his hand at his pocket. The Doctor wasn’t a fan of the Captain carrying guns on his ship, but he was momentarily thrilled. Maybe he could just shoot his future self and avoid this conversation. It would be less awkward than explaining the situation to his human companion.

“I don’t know who you are,” Jack scowled as he pushed Rose behind him, “But the lady here doesn’t seem to recognize you. Maybe introductions are in order?”

“He’s me,” the leather-clad Doctor replied, as calmly as he could manage. Which really wasn’t much at all. “Rose, Jack, meet me…future me.”

Everyone paused, momentarily in shock.

“Wait, hold up, how can he be you?” Rose began, only to be interrupted by Jack. “Time Lord nonsense, huh?”

“Oi!” the pinstriped Doctor cut through. “Quite a few people staring, eh? Let’s move the conversation somewhere more private?”

No one could argue with that, which was a shame, as the younger Doctor would be happy to disagree with his older self on anything at all. Rassilon, what a mess. If this is what he regenerated into, maybe regeneration was overrated.


	2. Chapter 2

Rose had once joked that the Doctor’s leather jacket was his armor against the universe. As usual, the clever human hadn’t been far off the mark, though he’d never tell her that. Armor was safer than showing humans the monster underneath. There was so much the Doctor needed to tell Rose about regeneration, Time Lords, all of it. But how? To explain Gallifrey, that meant letting Rose in long enough to see the blood on his hands.

She had been so shocked at his actions when they met that Dalek underground. “What are you changing into?’ she’d said. How could he tell her that he wasn’t changing _into_ something, he already _was_? Reserved and brooding, that’s what he was to her, and he had to stay that way or else lose her.

At least, he thought he had. If his future incarnation still traveled with Rose, some future version of her had learned parts of his sordid history. She chose to continue traveling with him regardless. That was encouraging, wasn’t it? It was a start of something.

_Easier to hear sad stories from a pretty boy than an old soldier, though, isn’t it?_

The Doctor pushed the miserable thought away. He walked slightly ahead of the group, losing himself in his regrets, until a snarky voice piped up behind him.

“You know, I’d quite forgotten how much of a brooder I was, eh Rose? How did you stand it?”

Rassilon, even his future self’s voice was grating.

“Oh, I dunno,” he heard Rose giggle behind him. “Dark and brooding is handsome sometimes, yeah?”

The Doctor almost stopped in his tracks. He’d have to get Rose into the medbay after this. There was no chance she was in her right mind if she was calling him, any version of him, handsome.

The Tardis was only a ten-minute walk away, but that time stretched into eternity. Jack flirting with his future self was no surprise, that man flirted with anything that moved. Rose flirting, however, that stung. She certainly never did that for him.

_But he is you, he’s just…a better dancer._

They arrived just as the trio behind him erupted into laughter over Rassilon knew what, and he slammed the doors open in annoyance. That got their attention. For a moment, he hoped the Tardis wouldn’t risk a paradox by allowing his other self on, but no such luck.

“Well, he might not be ginger, but he’s got rude down to a science,” mumbled the posh Doctor behind him before addressing the Tardis herself. “Hello, Old Girl, mind letting me on? I know it’s all timey whimey, but just for a tic.”

They silently gathered in the console room as Jack cut the tension in the most Jack of fashions. “Two Doctors. I’m not gonna say that three of us wasn’t a fantasy of mine I just, you know, thought it would be the three of us,” he gestured loosely at his Doctor and Rose, “And not whoever you are. Not that I’m complaining. The more, the merrier!”

“Doctor?” began Rose. She was quickly cut off by two versions of the Doctor turning their heads. “Alright, that’s going to get odd real quick, someone gonna fill me in?”

“Anyone got a banana?” joked the brown-clad Doctor. “Best to have a snack before gabbing on about Time Lord nonsense.”

“Now I know he’s you,” laughed Rose, completely unaware of how his hands clenched.

_What a bloody mess we’ve gotten ourselves into then._


	3. Chapter 3

“Blimey,” the newer incarnation began. “This is all a bit mucked up.”

Rose ignored him entirely, facing her current Doctor instead, patiently awaiting an explanation. It was difficult to hold back a smug smile at that. That Doctor might be pretty, but Rose was still looking to him for safety.

_Only for now, though._

“It’s a Time Lord trick,” he explained, casting his gloomy introspection aside. “If something bad happens, we…change. Into another person. That’s all.”

“So one day, you won’t be you?”

“Bit of an improvement, though, isn’t it?” he snapped.

“I wouldn’t say that,” she responded softly, hazel eyes unreadable.

Without warning, his mind was struck with sharp anguish across a telepathic link. Not _his_ pain, not that achingly familiar pain that followed him every waking moment, but something sharp and new and…oh. Icy blue eyes met brown. This was the Doctor’s pain, but the Doctor he would become. Outwardly, he appeared perfectly calm, but inwardly? His future self was drowning even more so than when Gallifrey burned, and he couldn’t begin to understand why.

The awkward silence in the Tardis console room was deafening. Finally, Jack cleared his throat.

“As interesting as this might be, Doc,” Jack beamed, throwing an arm around Rose and steering her to the kitchen. “How about you two talk amongst yourselves?”

Rose’s protests were silenced as Jack led her out of the room. The Doctor had never been so happy at the Jack’s incessant flirting. It was a rather useful skill in a pinch.

“It’s Rose, isn’t it?

The future Doctor closed his eyes, trying desperately to keep his emotions in check. Moments or hours passed; it was impossible to tell the difference right now. The shared anguish slowly disappeared from the present Doctor’s mind. He had no doubt the pain was still there within his future self. It might always be, for all he knew. But for now, at least, he appreciated a reprieve from it.

“I never understood, you know, when I was you,” sighed the future Doctor. “I thought she’d prefer one of her pretty boys to my daft old face, but-”

“But?”

“We were wrong,” he continued, lost in his memories “I can see it, every time I hold her hand now, ever since we regenerated. She’s looking in my eyes and looking for _you._ I left Rose with Jackie after we…after it all happened. I wanted to give her some time to adjust.”

“And you don’t plan to go back for her.”

“No.”

There, in a single word, was the horrible, shameful truth of it. In the face of the Time War, the Doctor could make the most impossible decisions. He could burn universes to the ground without hesitation. But in the face of a heartbroken Rose Tyler, the Doctor, any Doctor, would always be a coward.

“She would never leave us,” growled the present Doctor. “Not our Rose.”

“Humans change, I s’pose.” His future self smiled coldly. “Anyhow. Forget I said anything. I’ll be on my way to my own future. Clom’s lovely this time of year. Allons-y!”

Without waiting for a response, he stormed out, coat billowing behind him, leaving a panicked Doctor to face the horrifying reality of the situation.

_What would you do if you thought Rose was gone forever?_

“Jack!” he shouted, relieved when the man came running. “I need you to find him. Me. That me. Make sure he’s safe. Please.”

“Only because you said please,” he winked, rushing out the door.

It was only when the door closed behind Jack that the Doctor realized his predicament. If Jack was finding his future self, that left him to explain this to Rose.

Bloody hell.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously uploaded half this chapter, but I didn't love where it ended. Here's the update! First half remains the same, skip past that for the new pieces.

Rose wasn’t in any of her usual locations. She wasn’t in the kitchen over a cup of tea, or in her bedroom painting her nails. The Tardis sensed her Doctor’s increased panic and directed him to the solarium. There she was. His pink and yellow girl.

_Yours for how long, though?_

He shook the thought away and steeled himself for a dangerous conversation. It was only when he reached her that he noticed her slightly bloodshot eyes. Any thought of explanation vanished at that. He nearly leaped into the chair next to hers and took her hand in his.

“I thought you were mad at me, that maybe I did something in the future that’s so awful you had to let me go or-” she stammered, on the verge of tears again. That wouldn’t do at all.

“Rose, he isn’t angry at you. He’s lost you.”

“But I’m right here!”

“Eh, well, Time Lords can be a bit thick, eh?”

Before he could stop himself, the Doctor tucked an errant strand of her hair behind her ear. His fingertips lingered on her cheek. For a beautiful, blessed moment, she leaned into the touch.

“He’s jealous, love,” he smiled, chuckling at her confusion.

“Jealous of what? Hold on, you, he, can’t be jealous of yourself, yeah? Are you serious?”

The Doctor could always avoid the question, dismiss it, suddenly find some important repair work to occupy his time. But no. They had danced around this long enough, and if Rose wasn’t in his future, then there wasn’t much time left for them in his current timeline.

“Rose Tyler,” he began, unaccustomed vulnerability apparent in his voice. “Must be daft, but yeah. He’s everything you want, he’s my future, and here you are looking at me instead when-“

“Everything I want is right here,” she challenged. “If that man’s you, I’ll want him someday, too, eh? But right now I want _my_ Doctor.”

He tried to answer but the words caught in his through. His brave, precious girl. He didn’t remotely deserve her. He should leave her to his future, take her back to her mother, anything to break the tension in the room.

_Anything? Are you sure about that?_

For one brief moment, the Doctor was absolutely sure. Softly, as if she were made of glass, he lifted her up, gathered her in his arms and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

Only to hear Jack run into the solarium, breaking the moment before it began.

“Doc, it’s the Tardis. The other Tardis. It’s not there.”

The Doctor froze, keeping Rose close as he glared at the interruption.

“Bloody fantastic.”

All of time and space at the Doctor’s disposal, but he couldn’t find his own ship. His other self’s ship. Personal pronouns were confusing at times like this. If the Doctor, any Doctor, wanted to hide, there really was no way to find him.

_Unless the Tardis refused to let him forget Rose._

At that, the Doctor smirked. His ship had a way of ignoring him at times of crisis. This was certainly one of those times.

“We’ll find him, precious girl,” he reassured Rose, kissing her on the forehead before rushing out the door with a confused Jack on his heels.

In the console room, the Doctor fiddled with the controls, speaking more to himself than his audience of one. “The Tardis is alive, you see. Sort of. It’s complicated,” his ship came to life around them. “Clever thing, she-“

“She?” asked Jack, the beginning of a flirtatious smile on his face.

“Behave, you,” the Doctor playfully snarked back. “She knows what’s best, more than me, eh? If I’m trying to hide from Rose, not just Rose but another me…”

“Then she might send you somewhere easier to find!”

“Yep!” beamed the Doctor, his manic energy fully restored. “The Tardis knows where I’m going. And we can ask her to find me, the other me, for us.”

“What you waiting for, then?” Rose’s bright voice came from just behind Jack, her entrance into the console room surprising both men. “Let’s save you, yeah?”

The Doctor smiled and flipped one last lever. He didn’t deserve her. Not for an instant.

_But I damn well won’t abandon her, either._


	5. Chapter 5

Woman Wept was as beautiful on the second trip as it was on the first. The Doctor was momentarily taken aback by the crashing waves frozen directly above his ship. Nearby, two sets of footprints trailed off into the distance. The Tardis had landed as close to their previous trip as possible. If they were very lucky, his future self’s ship had done the same. Finding the Doctor would be easy.

Convincing the Doctor once he was located, however, was another matter entirely.

Within the ship, his human companions bickered. A few hours ago, Jack’s pouting and flirting would have driven him spare. Now, it was hard not to smile at their familiar teasing.

“Jack, of course you’re invited, but it’s not really your kind of place, there’s no one out there-“

“Rose, I’m not _that_ shallow, your company is all I need.”

“And it’s cold enough I’ll be wrapped up.”

“Oh,” a beat then, dejectedly “Have fun then!”

Rose stormed out of the ship, slamming the door behind her, before giving the Doctor a sheepish grin.

“Men,” she rolled her eyes.

“Trying not to take that as an insult, Rose,” the Doctor chuckled.

“You’re not _men_ , you’re the Doctor,” she snapped, taking his hand in hers.

“Bloody right I am. Now where could I have gotten on to…”

Rose quickly fell into a comfortable silence as the Doctor explained how Woman Wept came to be. Her tour guide was repeating his monologue from their previous visit. For a moment, Rose considered interrupting him, but stopped herself in time. The Doctor never did well in silence. If it calmed him to fill the space between them with words, she wouldn’t dare take that comfort from him.

“Listen to me, rambling on, like I haven’t told you all this before.”

“I dunno,” Rose smirked, tongue between her teeth. “I was a bit distracted last time.”

“Oh? By what?”

“Wonderin’ if I should ruin a perfect date by kissing you.”

The Doctor froze in an instant. “Is that right, Rose Tyler? I take you all these fantastic places and all you can think about is snogging?”

“Well, not just snoggin’,” she giggled as she wrapped her arms around his waist. “Snoggin’ with you, though, yeah, a bit.”

The sudden vulnerability in his eyes broke her heart. Just as quickly, it was gone, and the Doctor flashed his trademark smile and tried to walk away. Her grip tightened around him. Not this time.

“We’re always runnin’. You’re always runnin’. And it’s never _to_ something, it’s running _away_ , and I won’t let you this time, not from me.”

_What can I say to that? Impressive Time Lord, me, and a human girl can see right through all of it._

“Alright,” he whispered, finally pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I won’t run. But he is, and we can’t snog in the snow while he’s off being an idiot.”

“Excuse me, the idiot’s right here, thank you very much,” snapped a voice behind them. They turned to find the Doctor’s future-self approaching them. A short walk away, his Tardis sat still in the snow, door open to reveal a darkened interior. “Now what have you two done to my magnificent ship?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for the short chapter after such a long delay, hope it's not too awful!


End file.
